Home is a relative term, and though I've grown and matured in Syracuse, I was born and raised in Rochester. Before a visit home this past weekend, I was sharing my plans with a friend, and referred to my hometown just as that: home. But I corrected myself immediately, realizing that I had misspoken. Although it's an impulse to call Rochester home, I haven't permanently lived there in five years. I have created a new home for myself in a new city, but have only recently felt comfortable enough to bestow this exclusive title.
I used to think home related to location, but now it seems to equate more with people. I feel as much at home with my 12-15 earth-loving roommates as I do in the musty dog-saliva drenched backseat of my grandma's white Buick Rendezvous. So what's the difference between feeling at home and being home?
I feel at home with people who understand and aren't offended by my sarcasm, and will eagerly throw it back in my face. And that's exactly what I got on this warm, sunny, Friday afternoon riding back to Rochester with mom and grandma in the front seat. After my mother's insistence that I wear more deodorant, we discussed the recent bike theft that took place in my grandma's garage. The culprit, a middle-aged black man, periodically knocks on her door to ask for money or her meager collection of empty bottles and cans. My sweet, innocent, aging grandma being the generous, upstanding lady she is, leaves the door open while he waits, and rushes to her bedroom to dump her change jar and offer her dusty assortment of coins to this desperate man. In her defense, she gives him the money so he will go away, not because she feels obligated to help him.
Things got out of hand the other day, however, when he asked to "borrow" the white Schwinn cruiser she stored, dutifully unridden, next to an antique wooden table in the garage. Giving a man a handful of change so he'll leave, almost justifiable. Lending him a bike knowing full well he's just using you for your stuff, c'mon Grandma, really?? After the initial shock set in and the fear of what else this man may attempt to solicit from my Grandma dissolved slightly, Mom and I had to take a moment to laugh at the sheer absurdity of this bewildering predicament. Clearly Grandma's no longer relying on street smarts to navigate these tricky situations. After Mom and I exchange a bout of nervous laughter, Grandma lets out a long sigh, calls us a couple of jackasses, and I feel like I'm home.